Episode #299: Q&A: How to Know if you’re Engaging Your Core, Pushing Through Limiting Beliefs, & More!

Intro:

Welcome to The Healthy Catholic Moms Podcast where we make moving and nourishing our bodies the priority, so that we not only fulfill our vocations, but excel in our callings. I’m Brittany Pearson, a Catholic wife, mom, personal trainer, and I’m here to help you build healthy habits that actually fit your life. I am here to teach you how to get the results that you want and maintain the results that you want without spending hours at the gym, or meal prepping all weekend long. I understand I am right here with you getting my workouts done in the nooks and crannies of time, looking up recipes, while nursing babies and trying to prioritize my own health amidst everything else going on. But I have really good news for you, you can get the results you want. In less time without doing hours of cardio and restrictive dieting. I’m going to teach you how to use strength training and eating in a macro balanced way to get you feeling so good and your skin full of energy, and strong to carry out your life. Okay, on this podcast, we’ll delve into how to lose fat in a simple, sustainable way. What your workouts and nutrition should look like during different seasons of life, like during pregnancy and postpartum times. We’ll also discuss healthy quick meals, and how to get them on the table make foods that kids will actually want to eat. Mom hacks for making your day run more smoothly and so much more. All the while with continuous encouragement to stay the course and live with discipline. This is a place where we’re striving to steward our bodies well, in order to joyfully serve. I am so happy you’re here. Let’s dive in.

Main Episode:
Hello, my beautiful friends. Welcome to today’s episode. Thank you so much for joining me and I’m super happy to be here with you. Today, I’m going to hop right into a q&a episode. And I’m excited to do so because it’s been a while and these episodes really fit my personality of going off on tangents anyway, and kind of just switching direction every once in a while. So I like it that we get to kind of shift gears during the episodes. I do just want to say right at the beginning here. If you have a question that you would like to submit, you can email me at Brittany at healthy Catholic moms.com. Or shoot me a message over on Instagram just to my you know a direct message and I just kind of compile them. And then when I think it’s time for q&a Episode I go back in and through and it’s like I said bent a little bit I kind of just forgot about them to be honest. But I have a lot of great questions still to come. So if you’ve asked me something, you know previously, it’ll be coming up, I’m gonna keep incorporating some of these episodes, I think a lot of you enjoy these two. So definitely feel free to shoot me any health, fitness, children and postpartum pregnancy, any of those kinds of questions, nutrition, of course, all of that. And we’ll tackle it on here. So thank you to those of you also who submitted these questions today.

The very first one we’re going to dive into is tips on how much you should be playing with your kids. And then this woman said, I don’t have a designated play time. It’s spread all over. I feel guilt over it when the kids ask her to play. And she’s just feeling stressed out. So the general feeling in the question was like, they asked her to play while she’s making dinner. She has to say no, she feels bad because she feels like she hasn’t really gotten time to play with them. It’s not designated, stressed out and reading this question. I resonated with this so much. I was like, wow, I absolutely know and can relate to that feeling. So firstly, of course, I’m not a child expert. I’m not a parenting expert at all. I’ll just share what works for me or you know what, how I’ve kind of addressed this in my life because absolutely, I like had that feeling come back when I read this question like I know exactly what she means. And it is nice, I can honestly say that I haven’t felt that in a while. And in general have found a better rhythm with this. I think this a little bit is kid ages. I think that I probably felt the most stressed out with this one I had probably just the two but they were younger, like three and a baby. And it was like, okay, the three of us always understand like, they also don’t know when I’m working all that stuff. So right now I’m speaking to this as I have an almost six year old, a three year old and an almost two year old. So it’s a little bit different. Again, my two year old doesn’t really understand what’s going on all the time. But the way that I’ve kind of approached this is I do try to have designated play times so they can absolutely fluctuate. It’s not like 9am to 9:20am playing with them or anything like that. But it’s kind of more like a daily rhythm and little checkpoints. So I’ll say a couple of things that helped me shape this number one. I think up somewhere I think this is books I read or listened to about raising kids about how important the first seven minutes of the day are are in the last seven minutes of the day. So this is not necessarily play related, but I will make sure that I am giving them attention in those opening minutes of the day and closing minutes of the day. And usually that’s just, you know, them waking up me asking how they slept, and just giving them that kind of attention and love and then getting them set up for breakfast and all of that, but they’ll try to kind of sit with them for breakfast and chat, ask them what they want to do that day, etc. So that already helps me, like realize I’ve connected with each kid and start the day off on a good foot because I was in a habit of most of the time, I’m squeezing in a little bit of work before the kids wake up, I’ve gotten over my morning routine, it usually looks like prayer, working out, maybe filming a workout, whatever. But then I squeak in usually some work right before they wake up like an email. Or maybe sometimes I’m really quick trying to record a podcast or whatever. So a lot of times they can wake up on kind of finishing up the work. And that’s a messy start to the day where, you know, obviously kids wake up at different times, but we use like the green light, they know when I’m going to get them sometimes I have to get the almost two year old a little bit earlier than that. But in general, I if they walked down and I’m like still laptop open, like wait, mom’s finishing this, it’s just a messy start to the morning. So I’ve really tried to die to myself in that of like Brittany, it’s just stop what you’re doing close laptop, because it’s going to be better for everybody in the long run, I’m going to be frustrated, if I keep trying to work through this. I’m not giving them attention. They’re up there ready to start their day. And all that jazz. So that is first and foremost, then with the kind of rhythms, this is where I don’t have set times but to have rhythms of playing the day. And it can change day to day, some days. I’ll tell them like, at that kind of breakfast meeting, I just kind of lay out what the day’s gonna look like, Hey, guys, today is pretty much a school day, we’re going to be home, we’re going to do some schoolwork, we’re going to play outside, Mom has to wash the sheets, and you guys have to whatever. But other than that we’re going to do this. Maybe if we get done early, we can also do this. Just laying out what it’s going to look like because it might fluctuate. If we’re right, pretty much doing breakfast, get dressed, make the beds getting out the door, then no, we’re not going to have that organized play. But if it’s a home day, I’m laying out that also I will say and it sounded like this listener is a little bit more home based most days. So even that speaking to the days you are something I’ve been doing recently is asking each kid what they would like to do that day. Now sometimes I get really big answers. Like I want to build a roller coaster. I’m like, Well, that is not something I can do with you in 15 minutes. But I have started asking them this to say like Joe, what do you think is really fun that you’d like to do with mom today? His answer was played monster trucks. Awesome. Okay, Joe, we’ll play Monster drugs today. We can we can definitely do that. Josh, what what would be really great to you today. This is the one that almost six year old, I’ve been getting the bigger answers from where I’m like, well, we can maybe do that. Or maybe thank you for telling me you’re interested in that. We can kind of gather materials today but then we’ll start building it in two days and mom has that afternoon when the kids are down etc. So I have started asking them what they would like to do to try to get that touch point the two year old I know he wants to play catch all the time, he will throw a ball at anyone who wants you to throw back so I honestly this was like a Cognizant thought of I need to play catch with Judah at some point today because that is what he likes to do. So it’s more routines, rhythms. If it changes, I’ll tell them like Hey guys, we’re finishing breakfast, mom’s jobs to clean up from breakfast, I want you to go upstairs, get dressed, make your beds, I’ll come up and help you finish up your beds, then you guys can free play and Mom will play with you. Then you know after I’ve cleaned up breakfast and helped you tidy up your rooms then we can play a little bit and then we’re going to do schoolwork. The other thing that’s really helped me so number one probably asking them what they’re going to do what they would like to do at some point number two having just play rhythms like it is a designated time. Number three, this does not have to be super long. Like I think that to kids the the quantity of time is not as I could be wrong in this game. I’m not a child psychologist, but I don’t think they are paying attention if it’s 20 minutes, or it’s two hours you know, so 10 minutes 20 minutes goes a really long way to them of oh mom played monster trucks with me today. We didn’t have to be half hour. The other thing I was gonna say the other tip I think I’m on number four I don’t know is to use timers this has been really effective have I just use her oven timer or use my phone timer. I do this for them for free play sometimes, but I will do it as well with it actually keeps me on track. This is probably most often when I do it for when I tell them I’m going to play like saying that example again after breakfast. Mom has to mom’s job is to you know, do the dishes and sweep the floor or whatever. Then I will play with you. So I’m going to set a timer for 15 minutes. I’ll try to get all my stuff done in 15 minutes. When that timer goes off. Mom’s ready to play with you. Sometimes the other way around. Like I will set a timer and say we’re gonna play until the time but I don’t usually do that when it’s me playing with them. It’s usually just I’m setting the timer when it’s there. replay. And then it goes off to call them back to me to do schoolwork, to come together to do something to leave the house, whatever that is. So and doing this because I get it that question was like, it feels stressful all the time, like you are playing, but you’re not really playing it just like, didn’t feel like quality time, the things that have felt like quality time to me or that I sit down, I am playing maybe one on one maybe with all three. One really big piece of this is that my phone is away. Distractions are away. I used to try to get what I thought was everything done at once, right, I do run a business from home and with my kids 24/7. I’m also running a health and fitness business. So a client would text me, I would Oh, I can real quick make a post while I’m sitting here. Oh, owl, it’s that temptation of I can kind of multitask this. It never works well, for me to do this when then like, the kids are trying to talk to you on making posts. I’m getting snippy with them. Wait, Mom’s doing this. But I’m sitting on the floor of the playroom with them. So really, it’s like signaling to them. I’m ready to play with them. But I’m not. So in general, I’ve just tried to kind of play with them when I’m playing with them. As the norm phone is away. But then this is where the listener said that she feels guilty when she has told no, I do not feel guilty when I tell them no. And I explain it and say it I also really dislike that my work is on my phone. And usually I’m just grabbing my phone even easier than the computer, I actually would prefer them see me on the computer. But I will try to be very clear about like, hey, so it is like not during playtime. It is like we have you know?
Separate not like I’m doing something with them than Oh, I’m always answering my phone or I’m doing stuff I’ve really tried to implement that a lot of times I will just leave my phone away. Like if we’re outside the phones just inside and I’m just with them. I’ve actually gotten much worse at taking pictures and videos of them. Like oh my gosh, my third kid’s gonna have no pictures because I’m trying to just keep my phone away and not check it. And this is like not pulling out to check real quick. If emails came in when we’re at the park, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to answer them right now. Anyway, leave um, this is me talking to me, I leave it for worktime much more peaceful for me. Much better for them. Because again, we’ve had that that intense, focused playtime, that I know I was fully focused on them engaging with them. It’s also been really great, because I feel like we talk a lot more like this sounds silly. But I’ll ask questions that I might not have asked before they’ll bring up things to me where if I’m kind of half heartedly playing, it just makes sense. You have to give someone your attention for them to open up to you. And things like that. I’ve been enjoying my kids a lot more. It’s just been all around much better. But I do think there’s this balance between you can’t play with them 24/7 All day. But it’s also, you know, it’s very hard to tell them no, a mom can’t play right now when you haven’t gotten really to play with them, or had any quality time. So again, this is just the balance. It’s kind of worked for me as phone as a way when I am playing with them. It’s for pockets, but it’s focused when we do it. And then I try to explain to them when I am going to be doing something else. Because also I just think kids don’t know, you know, it’s just mom’s always around or dad’s always around. They don’t know if you’re available right now or not. So I’ll kind of try to preview it usually instead of doing something and turning and snapping at them and saying I can’t you see I’m doing this right now. No, they really can’t, and they don’t know that you’re busy, or that you’re mentally trying to do something that’s probably for them and for the family. But I try to just kind of preview that of hey, all right, you guys are gonna get some time to play or you can do the score great here or Hey, Mom setup Magna tiles, but I have to real quick go call aunt Liz and check in on something or I have to call the plumber or mom’s gonna go switch laundry and do a couple things. So get me if it’s an emergency or you need me but I’m not available to play with you right now. And I’ll do that inside, outside wherever but the other time just trying to bring them in and I’ve what I’ve personally tried to get better about is Yeah, I do tend to want my own time and my alone time. I would prefer to put a podcast on my earbuds and make dinner and peace but trying to bring a kid at a time into that and I know it’s crazy and sometimes you can’t help but all three kids are up in it trying to make banana bread with you or whatever but I’ve been trying to know as they get older again they can understand this and my kids ages just yesterday like going to the hardware store. Oh Joe, I’m going to bring you because Josh is getting to go somewhere else with Dad Chase. So you want to go with me to the hardware store just trying to give them individualized time as well. So it’s felt a lot more peaceful all the way around. I hope that helps. I know. You know this listener might have kids his younger ages are closer together or whatever. But the general focused play, then you don’t feel as guilty of Nope, I have to do this right now. Because I think it’s great for them to see that too. Like, no mom has a job too, which is running the household. And, you know, doing all these other things. So I can’t play with you 24/7. And I don’t think that’s, you know, good for kids either to be having to be constantly entertained, they do need to figure out how to play, you know, by themselves and with each other. That’s another one as they obviously get older. I had in my head as soon as I had my second boy, and like, I think three and five, were going to be great. Like, that’s when that’s really going to take off. And it has been true. They’re three and five right now. And yes, the bickering starts and yes, you know, there’s, there’s, there’s still that age discrepancy. So the viral wants to do things sometimes are thrilled to just say, like, no, but I try to encourage that a lot to like, Well, I’m not available right now. But ask your brother, if you’d like to do that, and that kind of thing. All right.

Um, next up, how to, and this was just kind of a broad question, how to push through limiting beliefs. Now, I think there’s a lot of ways we could go with this, I’m assuming more limiting beliefs around fitness and health and nutrition, you know, maybe this person is.
Filling in a lot of gaps that I just assumed from this question. I think one of the biggest lies that we tell ourselves, and this is just me personally, is that we are not the person who can fill in the blank. Oh, I am not the person that can be really organized. I’m just like, always frazzled, and always hectic and always running late. Or, well, I’ve always struggled with my weight. So I’m not a healthy and fit person. You know, we can so on and so forth, we can only achieve truly up to what we think of ourselves and what we believe about ourselves. So something that I think is very helpful. It’s along the lines of that fake it till you make it mentality, which sounds silly, and some might disagree with like, No, you shouldn’t fake anything, you should be your authentic self. Yes, I’m not saying be something fake. I’m not saying act like you’re a different person you are. What I am saying is, this goes in line with what I say all the time, talk to yourself, don’t listen to yourself. Because most of us have that interior voice or internal voice that might pop up and say you’re not good enough for that, you can’t do that. I mean, guys, like, I could not tell you how many things I’ve thought about. First of all, having a podcast would be pretty high up there on the list. I thought it was ridiculous when I was gonna start this podcast, man, who do I think I am, that I’m going to have a podcast, and people are gonna listen to it and all of that, like, you know, that’s I felt silly to even say I was gonna have a podcast, and you can apply that to 900 other things in my life. And I’m sure you could as well and you’re so if you were listening to that voice, we’re never gonna get anywhere. And we’re never going to shoot for the things we otherwise strive for. So in that talking yourself, and that kind of fake it till you make it. Think about what the person that you want to be like would do. What would an organized person do to get her kids out of the door? In a, you know, not stressed out way in the mornings? What would a healthy person do? When packing cars snacks for a long road trip? Like what would a healthy and an adequate and active person do if they were going to be away? And you know, wanted to exercise during the week, maybe they’d bring a band with them and do a YouTube video in a hotel room, like just thinking whenever it is, what would that kind of person do and I think it’s very helpful to this is kind of an extra step that obviously requires you to know people like that and to be comfortable talking with them. But to actually be able to chat with people who do the things that you want to do, and learn from them and ask them questions. But I do think that that’s been very helpful to me. And I’ve suggested that to some of my clients throughout the years, it’s just think like, well, what would a healthy person do in this scenario? social situations, you know, barbecues, we’re going to talk about all of that coming up in these, you know, next couple months, but not just okay. It’s not that a healthy person who is at a healthy weight, and all of those things, and has a good relationship with food. It’s not that they never go to a girls night, or never go to a barbecue. So how do they navigate it? So maybe that piece is really there, like you really don’t know. And that part is an easy fix. You can gain knowledge from a lot of places, this podcast just being one of them, but books and other podcasts and again, talking to people, but I think it’s more than that mentality that you have to adopt. It’s it’s more the application than the knowledge if you have a knowledge base. It’s that application. It’s not. Well, this is what I always do. I’m always that person that binges. Oh no, it was just Easter. I’m always the person that eats all the Easter candy in the house. Change that just No, I’m a healthy person. I’m the person that has to be uses of Easter candy and puts it away. Or I’m the person that decides what I really want to eat. And it’s not even Easter candy, it’s chips and salsa. And I don’t have to, like do this anymore. We don’t have to stay in the bucket we put ourselves. I also think another thing that has helped me immensely, this might just be personality thing, so might not work for liberty, but is to truly act like there is no other option. You do this so much in so many areas of my life, because in a lot of areas there is not an option. When I was first pregnant with my first child, I was waking up and teaching a 5:15am spin class two mornings a week, before I went to a full time teaching job, where then I leave and I’d come back to the gym, a different gym, or the same gym. And then I would teach classes at night a strength class, I would train one on one clients. It did not I felt terrible. I was very sick. I was trying ginger or trying everything. I did not think like well, Brittany, are you going to stop? No, I was what I just newly married somebody who was in school full time. And we were living off my, my Catholic school salary. And both of our supplemental like part time gym salaries. So there was not an option like, well, if we want to pay rent, you know, in his newlywed life here and then maybe start saving up for diapers, there’s not an option to not do this. So you act a lot differently. When there’s not an option. There’s not an out. So apply that to whatever if you give yourself the out. If I don’t really feel like working out today, you’re probably not going to. But no, I have to I wrote down that I’m going to do four workouts this week and I have to get this workout done. You just go start doing it. Like don’t do the battle with yourself. You don’t even have to ask they’re like what would a healthy person do? Just go do it? Whatever it is. Alright, I think we can get you pretty far. I’m gonna wrap it up there. So I can stay in this question for a really long time. Probably the last question that we’re gonna tackle today.

Help. I don’t know if I’m engaging my core. So I just giggle because I think I just love the help, like, come to my house right now and help me engage my core. I wish I could because I cannot do that for everybody I in the workout videos, I’m assuming this person has done my workout videos, because very often I will say make sure you engage your core brace your core, I say brace your core a lot. This is a great question. Because if you don’t know, if you are like that’s the root of everything. That’s where your lifting strength comes from, like it’s the trunk of your body, the powerhouse of your body. So it is important to be able to engage your core. My first question before you really analyze this is, do you know if you have diastasis recti. Because or diastasis recti, or however you want to say it many people say it many ways. But if you’ve had babies, you don’t know if your abs are fully back together. That is where I would start.

And I do have YouTube video on this. But how to check if you have Dr. Singh, go check out my YouTube channel, healthy Catholic moms, you check it in three position, standing up lying down on your back and in a plank position. And you’re checking for two things, how wide your abs might be apart, or how deep you can get your fingers in. And you would take it from there because you would need to do some core rehab and specific Dr specific exercises to try to close that gap or get your abs to spring back a little bit better. That is a huge reason a lot of people cannot brace their core because your abs are not together enough to even really do that they’re not able to get firing. And the very best thing you can do. And this is from a person who’s worked with people online with this one on one. And that is an option, you could email me if you think that might be you. And I like to do this more of a one on one style than a program at this time because it’s very personal. But going to a PT is great. Sometimes you can go to a physical therapist once or twice and get the exercises you need to do that for four to six weeks and see a lot of progress. So that is a great move. But assuming you do not have Dr. And you maybe have had babies but you’re cautious, not very strong. Maybe you haven’t had babies, whatever it is. But if you’re just not sure your abs are firing, but they’re closed up and they’re ready to go. I would suggest prior to your workouts always going through a little get your abs engaged routine. In a lot of my videos, I will do some of these exercises, but not every single video if we’re not directly working core. If we are directly working core then I always have these kinds of things. But I’m talking basic AB engagement where you kind of curl up
as you’re lying on your back, your knees are right over your hips and you’re tapping down one toe at a time towards the floor. Now you’re not bending at the knee kind of flicking. You’re keeping those kind of that tabletop position like 90 degrees from the shins dead, like your shins are parallel to the floor. And then you take your toe and you’re tapping it forward but you’re keeping that 90 degree angle at the knee if that makes sense. I believe I have I know I have a YouTube video for the basic engagement. I think I have one for toe tips too. And then a plank as well as another great way to get them fairing out by like a forearm plank and not just sitting in the plank. But you’re in that plank, thinking about drawing your elbows towards your knees is a really good cue or elbows towards your feet, and you’re going to really feel the front of the core fire up. Now, you need to breathe while you do that, because usually when we hold exercises, especially core exercises, we usually hold our breath as well. So you need to breathe through it. But then that is the kind of brace your core I’m talking about in the actual workout. So when I say it in the video slot, I’ll say go, like somebody’s gonna hit you like think sumo wrestler, for me, a little sumo wrestler stance, you’ve raised your abs, the hard thing for most people, is to maintain that, because probably you’re not breathing, you can do that for about one second, you’ll hook in 10 some, and that’s it. But to be able to brace throughout the workout, while breathing, it is a skill and it’s a, you know, a trained skill. So you’ll get better at it. But this goes for if you’re really not feeling any muscle group, if you don’t really feel your glutes when you’re doing a leg or glute workout, then it would be great to prime that area first, do you know some banded work before you get into the real meat of it, I’ll do this a lot in those YouTube videos where like, are chasing greatness group, etc. We’re like we’re gonna work the our back muscles. So I’ll do light banded rows. Or if we’re working in the chest, we’ll do light chest presses with the band, just getting those muscles ready to go and activated for the work to come. And that’s a really big piece. Because if you’re just diving in your workouts, that really activating them, you could not be getting as much. And they could actually not be as effective and not do what they should for your body. Alright, so great. Questions. Ladies. Thank you so much for submitting them. Please feel free to submit more questions. I love it, I will store them away. And it’s just great. Because if you have the question I’m sure other people did. Like I said that very first question I related to so much. And if it’s long enough, and I think there’s enough to speak on. That’s also where to get the other topic ideas for for full podcast. So thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate you. And if you have not read it in review the podcast and you have a second to do that. I would really appreciate it. That helps me out as well. All right. I hope you have a great rest of your day and I’ll talk to you next time.

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